


Hope Is.

by Bunnywest



Series: Blame Ben Folds [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt, I Made Myself Cry, Sad, based on a Ben Folds song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnywest/pseuds/Bunnywest
Summary: John knows he should have had Claudia admitted sooner.But admitting is such an awful thing.





	Hope Is.

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so if ever you feel the need to cry to a beautiful piano accompaniment, this is the song that will do it for you.
> 
> [Picture Window by Ben Folds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ku40DFUa5A)  
> Mr Bunny refuses to listen to it because it's "too real." He may have a point.
> 
> The lyrics that you can blame are these
> 
> We checked into the hospital New Year's Eve  
> Nothing to be done about that  
> Rainbows, daffodils, she's not naive  
> Symbolism's all crap
> 
> You know what hope is  
> Hope is a bastard  
> Hope is a liar, a cheat and a tease
> 
> My apologies.

 

 

He should have taken her to the hospital sooner, John thinks.  Hell, he knows it. The doctors told him weeks ago that she needs round the clock care now, can’t be trusted on her own. But he’d found a reason to delay, every day.

An imagined improvement.

 An emergency at work that kept him tied up.  

The promise he made to himself that their kid would get one more Christmas at home with his Mom.

He’d managed that last one, even though the day had ended with him choking back tears as Claudia had whispered to him earnestly, “John, who’s that poor boy? Where are his parents? Why is he with us at Christmas?”  John had soothed her and told her it was fine, and when she woke from her nap, she remembered her son again, and John was hopeful that Stiles didn’t know that she’d forgotten he existed. 

But yesterday, she’d locked the doors and refused to let Stiles inside when Melissa dropped him off after spending the day with Scott. Mel had played it off as a misunderstanding, and taken Stiles back home with her before calling John. He  knew, then, couldn’t deny it any more. It was time. So he made the call, and packed Claudia’s bags, and told her they were going to see the doctor. She was having one of her good spells, and she looked at him with pity in her eyes. “It’s okay, baby. I know why we’re going. I’m getting worse, aren’t I?”

John nodded. Claudia pulled him close for a hug, and they stood there for a long time, wrapped up in each other,  until finally John pulled back. “We should go,” he said. “They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting? Where are we going?” Claudia asked, and John felt his heart break in that moment.

 

* * *

 

 

They check her in, and John tries to keep it together. There are streamers hanging in the halls, and he realizes dimly that it’s New Year’s Eve. He carries her bag, and Stiles trails behind them, uncharacteristically quiet.  Melissa comes and takes Stiles by the hand, leading him away with promises of candy and soda while John completes the paperwork admitting his wife.

 _Admitting,_ he thinks. Such a loaded word.  Because while he’s admitting Claudia, he’s admitting that this is it. He doesn’t know how long she’ll be here, but he knows that she’s never coming home.

They settle Claudia in her room, and she’s drifting off when Melissa brings Stiles back to say goodbye before John takes him home. Claudia’s face lights up at the sight of him. “My little Mischief!” she exclaims, and crushes him in a tight hug, before tickling all up his sides until he’s squealing with laughter.  “Mommy’s just here till I get better, my   _kochanie,”_ she tells her child, the same one she didn’t recognize yesterday.

Stiles settles against his mother on the bed, all smiles and scraped knees, whispering “Love you, Mom.”

John has to turn away. He stares out the picture window, can see that darkness is starting to fall. There will be fireworks, later.  Claudia will have a wonderful view.  “Dad?” Stiles’ voice breaks into his thoughts, and he turns back towards the bed. Stiles is still laying with his face pressed against his mother’s chest while she sleeps. “She remembered me today. She called me her kochanie,” he says quietly.

 _Ah_ , _crap_ thinks John. He didn’t think Stiles had noticed Claudia’s memory lapses, but he should have known better. Kid’s too sharp to miss something like that. “She sure did, kiddo.”

“Does…does that mean she’s getting better?” Stiles asks, his expression earnest and hopeful and devastating.

John does the only thing he can.

He lies.

“Maybe, son. Maybe.”

 


End file.
